What if I told you.....

     What if I told you, some times, I wish I could cry and release some of the hurt and frustration that I have been holding on to for 29 years? What if I told you that I am not proud of the individual I've become over the past year and a half, and often sit in disgust of myself and wonder what happened to me? What if I told you I want the old Raf back, but don't know how to properly kill off the new Raf in order to revert back to the past? What if I sat with you and explained that sometimes, I speak of my pain and frustrations through cryptic texts, comments, posts on social media and discussions, but nobody can properly decipher the context of said cryptic comments?
     What if I told you that the smile I put on and show to you all, is a front hiding the truth, but you would never be able to tell because I rarely show true emotion? What if I told you that I'm lost in the world and don't truly know the direction in which I should go? What if I told you that your comments, you there, reading right now, who has spoken to me and added your opinion to certain aspects of my world, what if I told you that those comments actually hurt and offend me, and haunt me everyday of my life? What if I told you that I search for an escape, an escape from the demons that surround my mind daily, weekly, monthly, yearly?
     What if I told you that the Miserable Mind of Marques, wasn't just an album title, but truly, the way that Marques' mind functioned? What if I told you that through everything you may see as a success in my life, I view as still failing, with no resolution or come up in sight? Again, I ask you all, my friends, my family, my associates, what if I told you that I was lost in the world? What if I told you that I have so many brilliant ideas and plans, but lack the proper focus to complete the mission? What if I were going through something that could potentially ruin the way that you see me and my life right now? What if I told you, not all of you, maybe a select person, that there is no button to press to erase you from my memory? What if I told you that I loved you, but in the same breath explained that I have love issues? What if, I came to you, in confidence, in faith, and told you that I wasn't happy? What if I told you, that certain issues, certain feelings, certain things that should be a blessing, feel like a curse? What if I told you, I wanted out?
                 


                                                   


                                                                 Would you help me?







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