Parents Picking Who Children Date Based On Race?
What's up everyone? Hope everyone is doing well tonight, and if you're reading this, thanks for tuning in. I appreciate it. Anyway, I wanted to talk with you all tonight about some issues I've recently heard about. I was speaking with a fella one day about children and everything, and the young fella said to me, he will date and have sex with white women, but he wouldn't marry one or get one pregnant because he wants his children to, "look like him." This is a black male, and he isn't married or have any kids just yet. He didn't stop there. He also went further to say, that he'd push for his children to only marry and start a family with blacks as well so that his grandchildren will also look like him. He said it was about "Pride."
Now this isn't the first time I've heard of such a situation of a parent influencing their child on who to date based on race. I know of one woman, a mixed woman, whose father would be disappointed if she dated a black man, thus, the daughter only dates white men. Another situation, with another mixed woman, whose mother, ironically black, does not want her dating black men, thus, the daughter only dates and pursues white men.
Now, I'm a very proud black man. I love my people, and I love being a black man, but I clearly was never taught, as far as race is concerned, who to date or who to start a family with. My parents, also very prideful blacks, never made it a point to ONLY be with a black woman. Contrary to popular belief, I've always loved black women, and still do, despite being married to a white woman. I didn't make a decision on who I married based off of what skin color I want my children to be. Had you asked me 10 years ago, I probably would've given you the name of a black woman I was pursuing and wouldn't mind marrying. At the same time, prior to my wife, I have dated a few white women, so I've never truly been partial to either side. I've always said, whether right or wrong, you never just try ONE flavor of ice cream, before deciding on which one is your favorite. You try chocolate, vanilla, Neopolitan, strawberry, etc, then you decide from there. (Feel free to substitute Ice Cream with beers, candy, Kool-Aid, or whatever else you see fit.)
Something about planting in your children's head, who to date based on race alone seems a bit wrong to me. Maybe it's because I wasn't raised that way, but I feel like it should be up to your children who they fall in love with. Sure, as a parent, you'll be a bit protective and you may have your preferences of the type of person (examples: Not a thug, well mannered, respectful, etc.), but never black, white, Hispanic, or other. Is there something I'm missing here? Because here's my problem. While I feel it's wrong to tell your children who to date based off of race alone, I also understand where these people are coming from. I don't agree with it, and I won't teach my three mixed daughters to only date black men, but I also get why people would say that to their children. This is something that is taught. Possibly keep the heritage alive kind of thing. I get it.
But is there something I'm missing here? Is this wrong to teach your children this, or do you all see this as no major issue? Feel free to sound off in the comments and share your thoughts and opinions. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading as always, and I'll talk to you all on the next one. Peace.
Now this isn't the first time I've heard of such a situation of a parent influencing their child on who to date based on race. I know of one woman, a mixed woman, whose father would be disappointed if she dated a black man, thus, the daughter only dates white men. Another situation, with another mixed woman, whose mother, ironically black, does not want her dating black men, thus, the daughter only dates and pursues white men.
Now, I'm a very proud black man. I love my people, and I love being a black man, but I clearly was never taught, as far as race is concerned, who to date or who to start a family with. My parents, also very prideful blacks, never made it a point to ONLY be with a black woman. Contrary to popular belief, I've always loved black women, and still do, despite being married to a white woman. I didn't make a decision on who I married based off of what skin color I want my children to be. Had you asked me 10 years ago, I probably would've given you the name of a black woman I was pursuing and wouldn't mind marrying. At the same time, prior to my wife, I have dated a few white women, so I've never truly been partial to either side. I've always said, whether right or wrong, you never just try ONE flavor of ice cream, before deciding on which one is your favorite. You try chocolate, vanilla, Neopolitan, strawberry, etc, then you decide from there. (Feel free to substitute Ice Cream with beers, candy, Kool-Aid, or whatever else you see fit.)
Something about planting in your children's head, who to date based on race alone seems a bit wrong to me. Maybe it's because I wasn't raised that way, but I feel like it should be up to your children who they fall in love with. Sure, as a parent, you'll be a bit protective and you may have your preferences of the type of person (examples: Not a thug, well mannered, respectful, etc.), but never black, white, Hispanic, or other. Is there something I'm missing here? Because here's my problem. While I feel it's wrong to tell your children who to date based off of race alone, I also understand where these people are coming from. I don't agree with it, and I won't teach my three mixed daughters to only date black men, but I also get why people would say that to their children. This is something that is taught. Possibly keep the heritage alive kind of thing. I get it.
But is there something I'm missing here? Is this wrong to teach your children this, or do you all see this as no major issue? Feel free to sound off in the comments and share your thoughts and opinions. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading as always, and I'll talk to you all on the next one. Peace.
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