The Blog I Said I'd Never Write
When I was 17 years old, I lived on Fort Benning, Georgia, which, for those that don't know, if an Army base near the city of Columbus, Georgia, and about an hour or so south of Atlanta. I worked at the commissary back then, bagging groceries for tips. Not bad money for a 17 year old about to graduate high school, but I digress. One day, I was at work, and decided to take a break and go next door to the PX with a buddy of mine, who just so happened to be white. Normally, that doesn't matter, but it does in this particular instance.
Anyway, we go over to the PX, and we're looking around like we typically did. I checked out some video games, checked out the new music, made a mental note of some things to come back for when I had more money, etc. Before we even went into the store, we were talking about how another one of the guys that worked with us, had told us about how he had went into the PX and stolen some things. I remember thinking the dude was pretty brave, but also thinking, I'm not about to do that shit, my pops would kill me if he found out I was stealing. My buddy that I went into the store with said that he might try it out as we walked in. I was like hey, do your thing man, but let me get away from you, because I don't want anybody to think that I stole too. I told him I'd just catch up with him on the way out.
So I go and continue to look at video games, DVD's, CD's, and the rest of the electronics, which is where most my money went to back then, until finally I had seen enough, and figured I should get back to work, or go eat dinner, or do something other than being in that store. So as I was walking out, my buddy comes walking up to me. We get out the store, and he's like, yo, I got a Game Boy. I'm like you what? How the hell did you do that? So he's explaining it to me as we're heading back to work, and then out of nowhere, comes the guy that worked security, and watched the cameras and saw him steal it. It was a white man as well, and he went directly to my buddy, also a white guy, and told him what he saw him do, and that he needed to come back to the office. I'm standing there like, well it's a good thing I didn't take anything, however, I had to go back to the office too, because I walked out with him. Fair enough I thought, I shouldn't be in much trouble, because I didn't steal anything.
Let me break down my appearance for you around that time. I'm 6'3, roughly 185-190 then, with braids, and a braided goatee. I didn't think I looked like a criminal, but hey, whatever. We're in the office, the security guy calls the police, explains to us what he saw again, and what's going to happen. I'm like damn, this guy is about to be in deep shit when his dad comes down here. A few minutes later, the police come in, two white guys, and what does the first officer do? He comes straight for me! I'm like hey, wait a minute man, I didn't steal anything. He made me stand up, roughed me up a bit, patted me down, pushed me into the wall, and said all kinds wrong comments to me, particularly saying, "We're gonna keep you thugs off the streets." If you know me, you know I'm probably the furthest thing from a thug. I didn't understand what was happening. I could hear the security guy tell him and the other cop, hey it wasn't him, it was this guy that stole (pointing to my white friend), and explaining that he just brought me in, because I was walking out with him. The cop is still in my face, yelling at me, accusing me of stuff, threatening me. I'm outraged, but, I'm pretty cool about it. I just kept telling them that it wasn't me, and all I did was walk in with him and leave out after we met up. I didn't even know he had done anything. Nobody believed me.
So the cops get us up and they're walking us outside. There's also an investigator there by this time, and he has his own car, in front of the cop car. As we get outside, the cops are talking about how they're going to get us in the cars. Next thing I know, I hear them say something to the effect that I was rambunctious, so they needed to handcuff me. Remember, I didn't steal anything, so I said wait, I didn't do anything, why am I getting cuffed? They tell me to shut up, handcuff me, and throw me in the back of the cop car. My white friend, who stole the Game Boy, and was the whole reason for this fiasco? No handcuffs, and gets to sit in the passenger's seat of the investigator's car. On the way into the station, the cop who had been harassing me the entire time was driving, and when he stopped he's like get out! I say, how can I get myself out, I'm handcuffed? The other cop there, seemed like he knew this was all wrong, and helped me out. As he lifted me out the car, he said to me, look man, just be quiet and we'll get it taken care of for you. Don't say anything back at all. So I did what he said.
At the end of all this, I received the same $200 fine, and loss of PX privileges as my buddy did. He told the investigator that I had nothing to do with it, he told the judge the same thing and that I didn't even know he did it until we walked out, but to no avail. I got the same punishment, which I mean, that's fine. I should have left as soon as he said he was thinking about it, and then I wouldn't look like an accomplice.
Here's another small story concerning young me, and police. In Kentucky, me and a buddy of mine are way out across base, no car, on feet, playing ball, and talking to ladies. Having the time of our life. We look at the time, and realize we have 15 minutes to get all the way back to our side of base, which would take 30 minutes on feet, if that. So we break out in a sprint, thinking we could run from one side of base to the other. We knew we were grounded. As we're running, a cop, white guy, sees us both running down the road, and slows down. We wave at him and he asks what we're doing. We tell him the situation, he looks at his clock, and tells us to get in, then proceeded to drive us to our street, and not to our houses so it didn't look like we had gotten in trouble, and we made it home on time. Good cop he was.
Why am I telling these stories? People seem to think that I've never been through anything and am out of touch with reality of the world and have never experienced racism. I have, on more than one occasion in fact. It sucks to have to worry about things like that, just because of the color of your skin. It sucks to notice people follow you around a store to make sure you don't steal. It sucks to have police pull you over and question about where you're going for no reason, just because you're black and driving a nice car. It all sucks. The news lately absolutely disgusts me, and I hate to see my brothers being killed in the streets. This is nothing new at all people. I'm not blind to this, I see it. I've lived this racial prejudice in my lifetime. Sure, I may not have experienced it as much as others, but I've been there. I know what it's like to be judged solely off of your appearance and skin color. Racism is definitely alive and well. I could very well have been a sad news story that day in Fort Benning had that cop kept going on me. Luckily, it didn't get that far.
But, on the flip side of that, going back to the, "Keeping the thugs off the streets," comment, I had a black Assistant Principle in Columbus, Georgia who looked at me and said the exact same thing as that white cop. I got in trouble for cracking jokes with some friends, and cursing at lunch (I was wrong for the cursing. I admit it), and he basically says that same statement, and implies that I either A. don't live with my father, or B. wasn't being raised right by him. Really? He didn't know anything about me, just saw the braids, clothes and the goatee and made an assumption. We're no better to ourselves than white people are to us, at least not all of us. A black man will kill another black man for the Jordan's that he has on his feet, but then want to scream racism when a white cop kills a black man. It can't be both ways. It is my belief, that if we want others to love and appreciate us, we need to love and appreciate ourselves. All I see is my people talking down on each other, trying to put the next man down so that they can be looked at as better than them. Instead, we should help our brothers and help our sisters. Rise together and be strong as a team. Yes, there are some people who don't like us, and will do anything to make our lives as African-Americans hell. But there are also some of our people who will do the exact same. Those folks don't value the lives of their own brothers and sisters. We post all these stupid ass worldstar hip hop videos that are nothing more than trash that degrades us and makes us look horrible as a race and culture. All these stupid challenges that our people our doing. How can we make everyone else see us better, if we aren't doing anything to make ourselves look better? It's gotta be both ways, folks. We have to change ourselves before we can change the minds of others.
That's all I got to say about that. Take it easy folks.
Anyway, we go over to the PX, and we're looking around like we typically did. I checked out some video games, checked out the new music, made a mental note of some things to come back for when I had more money, etc. Before we even went into the store, we were talking about how another one of the guys that worked with us, had told us about how he had went into the PX and stolen some things. I remember thinking the dude was pretty brave, but also thinking, I'm not about to do that shit, my pops would kill me if he found out I was stealing. My buddy that I went into the store with said that he might try it out as we walked in. I was like hey, do your thing man, but let me get away from you, because I don't want anybody to think that I stole too. I told him I'd just catch up with him on the way out.
So I go and continue to look at video games, DVD's, CD's, and the rest of the electronics, which is where most my money went to back then, until finally I had seen enough, and figured I should get back to work, or go eat dinner, or do something other than being in that store. So as I was walking out, my buddy comes walking up to me. We get out the store, and he's like, yo, I got a Game Boy. I'm like you what? How the hell did you do that? So he's explaining it to me as we're heading back to work, and then out of nowhere, comes the guy that worked security, and watched the cameras and saw him steal it. It was a white man as well, and he went directly to my buddy, also a white guy, and told him what he saw him do, and that he needed to come back to the office. I'm standing there like, well it's a good thing I didn't take anything, however, I had to go back to the office too, because I walked out with him. Fair enough I thought, I shouldn't be in much trouble, because I didn't steal anything.
Let me break down my appearance for you around that time. I'm 6'3, roughly 185-190 then, with braids, and a braided goatee. I didn't think I looked like a criminal, but hey, whatever. We're in the office, the security guy calls the police, explains to us what he saw again, and what's going to happen. I'm like damn, this guy is about to be in deep shit when his dad comes down here. A few minutes later, the police come in, two white guys, and what does the first officer do? He comes straight for me! I'm like hey, wait a minute man, I didn't steal anything. He made me stand up, roughed me up a bit, patted me down, pushed me into the wall, and said all kinds wrong comments to me, particularly saying, "We're gonna keep you thugs off the streets." If you know me, you know I'm probably the furthest thing from a thug. I didn't understand what was happening. I could hear the security guy tell him and the other cop, hey it wasn't him, it was this guy that stole (pointing to my white friend), and explaining that he just brought me in, because I was walking out with him. The cop is still in my face, yelling at me, accusing me of stuff, threatening me. I'm outraged, but, I'm pretty cool about it. I just kept telling them that it wasn't me, and all I did was walk in with him and leave out after we met up. I didn't even know he had done anything. Nobody believed me.
So the cops get us up and they're walking us outside. There's also an investigator there by this time, and he has his own car, in front of the cop car. As we get outside, the cops are talking about how they're going to get us in the cars. Next thing I know, I hear them say something to the effect that I was rambunctious, so they needed to handcuff me. Remember, I didn't steal anything, so I said wait, I didn't do anything, why am I getting cuffed? They tell me to shut up, handcuff me, and throw me in the back of the cop car. My white friend, who stole the Game Boy, and was the whole reason for this fiasco? No handcuffs, and gets to sit in the passenger's seat of the investigator's car. On the way into the station, the cop who had been harassing me the entire time was driving, and when he stopped he's like get out! I say, how can I get myself out, I'm handcuffed? The other cop there, seemed like he knew this was all wrong, and helped me out. As he lifted me out the car, he said to me, look man, just be quiet and we'll get it taken care of for you. Don't say anything back at all. So I did what he said.
At the end of all this, I received the same $200 fine, and loss of PX privileges as my buddy did. He told the investigator that I had nothing to do with it, he told the judge the same thing and that I didn't even know he did it until we walked out, but to no avail. I got the same punishment, which I mean, that's fine. I should have left as soon as he said he was thinking about it, and then I wouldn't look like an accomplice.
Here's another small story concerning young me, and police. In Kentucky, me and a buddy of mine are way out across base, no car, on feet, playing ball, and talking to ladies. Having the time of our life. We look at the time, and realize we have 15 minutes to get all the way back to our side of base, which would take 30 minutes on feet, if that. So we break out in a sprint, thinking we could run from one side of base to the other. We knew we were grounded. As we're running, a cop, white guy, sees us both running down the road, and slows down. We wave at him and he asks what we're doing. We tell him the situation, he looks at his clock, and tells us to get in, then proceeded to drive us to our street, and not to our houses so it didn't look like we had gotten in trouble, and we made it home on time. Good cop he was.
Why am I telling these stories? People seem to think that I've never been through anything and am out of touch with reality of the world and have never experienced racism. I have, on more than one occasion in fact. It sucks to have to worry about things like that, just because of the color of your skin. It sucks to notice people follow you around a store to make sure you don't steal. It sucks to have police pull you over and question about where you're going for no reason, just because you're black and driving a nice car. It all sucks. The news lately absolutely disgusts me, and I hate to see my brothers being killed in the streets. This is nothing new at all people. I'm not blind to this, I see it. I've lived this racial prejudice in my lifetime. Sure, I may not have experienced it as much as others, but I've been there. I know what it's like to be judged solely off of your appearance and skin color. Racism is definitely alive and well. I could very well have been a sad news story that day in Fort Benning had that cop kept going on me. Luckily, it didn't get that far.
But, on the flip side of that, going back to the, "Keeping the thugs off the streets," comment, I had a black Assistant Principle in Columbus, Georgia who looked at me and said the exact same thing as that white cop. I got in trouble for cracking jokes with some friends, and cursing at lunch (I was wrong for the cursing. I admit it), and he basically says that same statement, and implies that I either A. don't live with my father, or B. wasn't being raised right by him. Really? He didn't know anything about me, just saw the braids, clothes and the goatee and made an assumption. We're no better to ourselves than white people are to us, at least not all of us. A black man will kill another black man for the Jordan's that he has on his feet, but then want to scream racism when a white cop kills a black man. It can't be both ways. It is my belief, that if we want others to love and appreciate us, we need to love and appreciate ourselves. All I see is my people talking down on each other, trying to put the next man down so that they can be looked at as better than them. Instead, we should help our brothers and help our sisters. Rise together and be strong as a team. Yes, there are some people who don't like us, and will do anything to make our lives as African-Americans hell. But there are also some of our people who will do the exact same. Those folks don't value the lives of their own brothers and sisters. We post all these stupid ass worldstar hip hop videos that are nothing more than trash that degrades us and makes us look horrible as a race and culture. All these stupid challenges that our people our doing. How can we make everyone else see us better, if we aren't doing anything to make ourselves look better? It's gotta be both ways, folks. We have to change ourselves before we can change the minds of others.
That's all I got to say about that. Take it easy folks.
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