Dear Raf - 05 July 14

First off, let me say thank you all for reading my blog over the past few days. I was looking at some of the page views, and I've had 283 views here recently. That's pretty awesome to me, and I really appreciate it. I hope you all continue to tune in, and spread the word to others.
      A few days ago at work, I was chatting with my good friend Nay Nay (not her real name, but that's what I call her.), and she gave me the idea to do a weekly segment of Q & A's titled, "Dear Raf," where my readers can shoot me their questions or concerns, and I answer them here. I thought it was a pretty good idea, and since I'm wide awake right now (it's 12:30 a.m here in OKC), I figured I'd get started. So here's the first bunch of questions and answers for the new Dear Raf segment.

     #1. Dear Raf,
Q. How do I end an unhappy relationship, when kids are involved?
A: Wow! This is a dilemma that I hope I never encounter, but I will give it my best shot to help here. I believe that if a relationship is beyond repair, the best thing to do is just mutually come to terms, and let it go. There's no reason at all to stay together just because of children, because the children will pick up on that unhappiness, and you don't want to pull them into that drama. Sit down and talk with your significant other, discuss all the important things that need to be discussed concerning the child or children, and go on your way. Handle it like adults. If everything is discussed in advance, there won't be a need for any messy situations down the road. I know it's not always that easy, but that's the best advice I can give here. I hope this helps you reader.

    Q. How do you feel about surrogate mothers or fathers of children they made through sperm donations not knowing their children?
    A. So if I go to a sperm bank, handle my business and donate my seeds to some lucky woman who was unable to get pregnant by their significant other, I personally don't want to know that kid if she gets pregnant. I have no relationship with that woman, and I kind of look at it as a donation. I don't need to know who it went to, what they created with it, or anything of that nature. I think the only way I would even entertain meeting said child, would be if later in life, the child found out the true way they were conceived and wanted to find me. Then I'd meet them, but I couldn't really form a true relationship with them or help raise them or anything. I don't think you should know the children you created in those situations as that would make things awkward. Actually, if it were a close family member or friend that I was donating my seeds to, then I'd obviously meet the child, but beyond that, nah. No relationship there.

    Q. What do men think about on dates?
    A:  I think one of my favorite YouTubers, HotDamnIRock explained this best. So allow me to point you to his video which will give you your answer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOvV3pRo8JA

   Q. What is it with guys only wanting sex from a single female with children? No conversation, casual outings, etc. Just straight to the sheets. Why?
   A:  That's pretty crazy that this happens to be honest. I know nothing about this in my own life, and I don't want to speak for other men, but I'll take a stab at it here. I think the reason this is done is because the man may find you attractive, and want to be with you, but they probably fear that if they got serious with you, then they'd be responsible for providing for not only you, but you children as well. As weird as it sounds, I was once told not to take care of another man's child. Never understood why I was told that, but I was told that in my teenage years. As an adult, and a father of three myself, I believe that advice is ridiculous, however, there are those individuals who probably still think this way. With that being said, I know a handful of great men who have taken on the challenge of being with a woman who has children, because they love her and would do anything for her. And not only have they taken on that challenge, but they've also taken over the role of father for those children. My advice to you ma'am, is to keep searching for the right man who is willing to give his all to you, and receive your all, regardless of your children. That man is out there somewhere, waiting for you to walk into his life.

     Q. What's up with parents leaving their kids in the car?
     A: I gotta say, I'm guilty of this on occasion. Sometimes I gotta run in to the gas station really quick, and don't feel like getting whoever is with me out, especially if I can see them from the store windows. I usually would turn my car off, lock it, then hit the automatic start button on my key, so that the car is running and the A/C is still blowing for them, and they're not sitting in a scorching hot car. Now I don't do this if I'm going to be out of view of them for longer than a minute, like, I'm going in to buy a drink and pay for the gas. If I'm going somewhere that's going to take some time, I get them out. Nonetheless, I probably shouldn't do that either. As for the people leaving the children in the car, windows up, and cars off, with burning hot temperatures outside, I don't quite understand how that happens, or how they say they forgot that the kid was there. I really don't get it. It doesn't take that long to turn around and check for your child. I think the parent in those extreme cases had some sort of mental issues, and intentionally did that. But who knows right? I gotta do better about this myself.

     LAST ONE!

     Dear Raf,

    Q: Why are men scared to show their emotions?
    A: We're not scared to show our emotions, if you're referring to our emotions towards women. I've actually never had this problem with women, as I have always been pretty up front about how I feel about them in my day. Never been an issue about showing that emotion to me, except in the workplace. I can't show emotion there because I don't want to show any weaknesses. Sometimes, we as men are raised not to show too many emotions. Never let em see you sweat, is something I was taught as a youngster. But as far as love life is concerned, showing emotion for me, can be a double edged sword. Sometimes the woman you're with may like that you show emotions and want you to. But there are other times where a woman may look at those emotions as a weakness and take advantage of you. Trust me, I've been there. Mr. Nice guy, Mr. Lovey Dovey, Mr. Romantic guy, and some women don't really dig that. It's all trial and error really. You gotta get to know your significant other and discuss these things with them. Get them to open up to you. Once they become comfortable, they'll show you some of those emotions you're wanting to see. Or, maybe they won't. Maybe there's something else that prevents those emotions, thus, leading us back to getting to know your significant other.

    That's it for this week folks. Thanks for all the questions that were sent in, and thanks again for reading this blog. I love to write, and this is an outlet for me to share my thoughts to a different audience. So I truly appreciate the support. If you have any questions or concerns that you may want to see me answer here in the coming weeks, feel free to shoot them to me either here, Google+, or if you follow me via Facebook, let me know there. Take care everyone.